Friday, January 23, 2004

Money Weight

I’ve come to the conclusion that all US coinage should have a weight proportional to its value.

If a nickel weighed exactly 5 times what a penny does, and a quarter weighed exactly 5 times what a nickel does, it would make managing large quantities of coins much simpler.

Here is my vision:

I take a pocket full of mixed change down to the local barista and ask how much for a Grande Cappuccino. She replies, “That’s 16 ounces.”

“Yes, I know a Grande is 16 ounces, but how much does it cost?”

“16 ounces,” This time she’s a little annoyed.

Pointing to the Grande cup, I speak slowly. “Look, I just want to know the price of this cappuccino, OK?”

“It’s 16 ounces, or 1 pound, SIR.” Now she’s getting frustrated with me. I’m not sure why.

“A pound? Do you mean British pounds? How much in American is that?” Clearly, she isn’t from around here.

At this point, her eyes bulge, and I see a vein standing out on her forehead. Reaching across the counter, she plunges her hand into my pant pocket, and fishes out a fistful of my money. She throws it into a hopper on top of a digital scale. It reads 1 pound, 4 ounces.

“Keep the change,” I grin back at her, and think fondly of her hand in my pants for the rest of the day.


Mark Lindsey said...

For the record, Grump spent 1377 pounds of US pennies on his last TV.

grump said...

Worth every ounce,too.